Introduction

Howdy.

I think I'll introduce myself by telling the story of a boy who introduced himself.

While I was visiting various colleges this past year, I arrived at dozens of situations where I had to introduce myself to other people. I had tailored my announcement speech into a quick, bland blurb: hey, I'm Alex Kowalski from Boston and I'm a history major. I kept it concise and simple because I thought it was better to say less than more so that I didn't create any unintended impressions.

One boy took it too far with a different approach at a Vanderbilt information session. After the first 20 people had introduced themselves in the same boring style that I had, the chance landed on a shaggy brown haired, adolescent looking kid. For some reason, his polar fleece vest made me think nerd right away. But he proved to me that he wasn't.

"I like unicorns," he said in a congested tone. Nothing more. He laughed a little. Nobody was impressed. I heard a few coughs; his parents smiled as if they approved of his comment. "Okay then," said the tour guide as he nervously eyed the audience.

My dad, who is not openly critical of anyone, turned to me and said, "What a dweeb! I have never seen someone who fits that title so well." He was right - the boy wasn't a nerd, a dork, a lame-o, a loser, but simply a dweeb.

Now I don't want to appear as a dweeb, so here is my altered, formal introduction:

Hey, my name is Alex Kowalski, I'm from Boston, and I don't like unicorns.